Buckle Up: The Hilariously Proper Guide to Wearing a Small Belt

Belts: those trusty bands of leather or fabric designed to keep our pants from defying gravity. However, somewhere between their functional inception and today, they’ve evolved from mere waist-huggers to statement pieces capable of transforming an outfit from drab to fab. If you think about it, selecting and wearing a belt should be straightforward, right? Wrong. As it turns out, there’s a fine art to wearing a small belt, and we’re here to guide you through it with a mix of humor and style advice that would make even the most dapper gentleman or lady chuckle.

Let’s tackle the age-old question: which way to wear a belt? It might surprise you to know that this is not merely a matter of personal preference. Oh no, it’s an unwritten rule of the fashion world, dictated by factors such as gender and even which hand you favor for writing. Men typically go counterclockwise, from left to right, ending the belt’s journey on the left side of the zipper. Meanwhile, women wear their belts clockwise, ending on the right. But, if you’re a left-handed chap, you might find yourself strapping in the opposite direction, because why make life easy?

We’ll talk about the ratchet belt – the belt that decided it was high time we did away with holes. This marvel of modern engineering locks into place using a ratchet system inside the buckle, allowing for precise adjustments. This means you can finally say goodbye to the ‘in-between’ sizes dilemma. The steps for strapping on one of these bad boys, like the Nexbelt, are simple: find your pant size, add a couple of inches, cut, and voilà, you’re ready to take on the world, or at least your pants are.

“Leather Belt, Metal Buckle” by blmurch is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

But what about styling these wondrous belts? The advice from our stylist gurus ranges from matching your belt with your shoes by color or style, to avoiding a belt altogether when donning a suit. That’s right, Jeff K Kim advises that a suit should fit you so well, a belt would merely add unnecessary bulk to your mid-section. And if you’re choosing between making a statement with your belt or your shoes, Wendi and Nicole Ferreira recommend letting one blend while the other stands out.

For those looking to break the mold, consider belting a blazer for that street style vibe that screams ‘I know fashion’. Remember, the key to a successful belt outfit is creating that coveted hourglass shape, regardless of whether you’re cinching a dress or a blazer. And for the love of style, let’s not stick skinny belts on jeans; ensure the belt’s width matches the belt loops for a look that’s proportionally pleasing.

Wondering how to propel your belt game from good to great? It’s all in the details, my friends. Whether it’s swapping that flimsy fabric belt that came with your dress for a chunkier, more textured option, or adding a metallic belt to jazz up a casual outfit, the right belt can elevate your look in an instant. And for those bold enough, styling a belt over jackets, blazers, and sweaters can add a refreshing twist to oversized outfits, showcasing your waist and playing with proportions in the most flattering way.

While belts may seem like a small detail in the grand tapestry of fashion, they hold (quite literally) the power to transform your outfit, accentuate your figure, and express your unique style. So whether you’re a clockwise woman, a counterclockwise man, or a ratchet-belt revolutionary, remember: life’s too short for boring belts. Experiment, have fun, and maybe, just maybe, give that belt over a blazer look a try. Who knows? You might just start a new trend.