Breaking up is hard to do, especially when you’re engaged and have to deal with the fallout of calling off a wedding. But what if your ex and your families don’t respect your decision and keep trying to get you back together? How do you cope with the pressure and the guilt? How do you move on with your life?
That’s the dilemma that many people face when they end a relationship that was supposed to lead to marriage. In this article, we’ll share some real stories from people who went through this situation, and offer some tips on how to handle it.
Why did they break up?
The reasons for breaking up vary from case to case, but one common theme is that the ex-fiancee was unfaithful or incompatible with their partner.
For example, one interviewee broke up with his fiancee after she asked for an open marriage. He wrote:”She said she loves me but she wants to experience other people too. She said she doesn’t want to lose me but she also doesn’t want to regret not living her life to the fullest. She said she wants me to be her primary partner but she also wants to have secondary partners. She said she wants us to have a future together but she also wants us to have fun now.”
He said he was shocked and hurt by her request, and that he couldn’t agree to it. He said he loved her and wanted to marry her, but he also wanted a monogamous relationship. He said he felt betrayed and disrespected by her, and that he couldn’t trust her anymore. He said he decided to end the relationship and move out of their apartment.
Another interviewee broke up with his ex-fiancee after he found out that she cheated on him with his best friend. He wrote:”I found out when I came home early from work one day and saw them in our bed. I was devastated. I confronted them and they admitted that they had been having an affair for months. They said they were sorry and that they didn’t mean to hurt me. They said they fell in love and that they couldn’t help it.”He said he was angry and heartbroken by their betrayal, and that he couldn’t forgive them. He said he loved her and wanted to marry her, but he also wanted a faithful relationship. He said he felt humiliated and disgusted by them, and that he couldn’t look at them anymore. He said he decided to end the relationship and cut off contact with them.
How did their exes and families react?
The reactions of their exes and families were also different, but another common theme is that they didn’t accept their decision and kept trying to persuade them to change their mind. For example, the first interviewee said that his ex-fiancee kept calling, texting, and emailing him, begging him to take her back. She said she was sorry and that she made a mistake. She said she still loved him and wanted to marry him. She said she would give up the idea of an open marriage if he would give her another chance.He said he ignored her messages and blocked her number, but she still found ways to reach him. She showed up at his work and his new place, crying and pleading with him. She sent him flowers and gifts, apologizing and promising him everything. She even enlisted the help of their mutual friends, who tried to convince him that she was sincere and that he should forgive her.He said he was annoyed and frustrated by her persistence, and that he didn’t want anything to do with her. He said he didn’t love her anymore and didn’t want to marry her. He said he didn’t believe her words and didn’t trust her actions. He said he wanted her to leave him alone.
The second interviewee said that his ex-fiancee and his ex-best friend kept calling, texting, and emailing him, apologizing and explaining themselves. They said they were sorry and that they didn’t plan it. They said they still cared about him and wanted to be friends with him. They said they hoped he could understand and forgive them.He said he deleted their messages and blocked their numbers, but they still found ways to contact him. They showed up at his work and his new place, apologizing and asking for his friendship. They sent him cards and letters, expressing their regret and sympathy. They even involved their families, who tried to mediate between them and make peace.
He said he was disgusted and furious by their audacity, and that he didn’t want anything to do with them. He said he hated them both and didn’t want to be friends with them. He said he couldn’t understand or forgive them. He said he wanted them to leave him alone.
How did they cope with the situation?
The situation was difficult and stressful for both interviewees, but they managed to cope with it in different ways.
For example, the first interviewee said that he focused on his work and his hobbies, and tried to keep himself busy and distracted. He said he also sought support from his family and friends, who were understanding and supportive of his decision. He said he also went to therapy, where he learned to process his feelings and heal his wounds.He said he gradually felt better and happier, and that he started to date again. He said he met a new girl, who was kind, loyal, and respectful of him. He said he fell in love with her, and that they got engaged. He said he was excited and hopeful for their future.
The second interviewee said that he quit his job and moved to a different city, where he started a new life. He said he also joined a gym and a support group, where he improved his health and met new people. He said he also traveled to different places, where he explored new cultures and experiences.He said he slowly felt stronger and freer, and that he started to date again. He said he met a new girl, who was honest, faithful, and caring of him. He said he fell in love with her, and that they moved in together. He said he was happy and grateful for their present.
What can we learn from their stories?
Their stories are inspiring and empowering, and they show us that we can overcome any breakup, no matter how hard or painful it is. They also teach us some valuable lessons on how to deal with a breakup when your ex and your families won’t leave you alone. Here are some tips based on their experiences:
- Be firm and clear about your decision. Don’t let your ex or your families guilt-trip you or manipulate you into changing your mind. You have the right to end a relationship that doesn’t make you happy or respect you.
- Cut off contact with your ex. Don’t answer their calls, texts, or emails. Don’t meet them in person or online. Don’t accept their gifts or apologies. Don’t let them interfere with your life or your healing process.
- Set boundaries with your families. Tell them that you appreciate their concern, but that you need them to respect your decision and your privacy. Ask them to stop bringing up your ex or trying to get you back together. Tell them that you are doing fine and that you will let them know if you need anything.
- Focus on yourself and your well-being. Do things that make you happy and fulfilled. Pursue your goals and passions. Take care of your health and appearance. Spend time with people who love you and support you.
- Seek professional help if needed. If you feel overwhelmed or depressed by the situation, don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist or a counselor. They can help you cope with your emotions and overcome your challenges.
- Be open to love again. Don’t let your past relationship ruin your future ones. Don’t be afraid to trust again or to give yourself another chance at happiness. Remember that there are many people out there who can love you the way you deserve.
Breaking up is hard to do, but it’s not the end of the world. You can survive it, and you can thrive after it. You just need to be strong, brave, and confident in yourself.
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