Imagine this: you’re in a happy relationship with your boyfriend, and everything is going great. You have a mutual friend who is also part of your social circle, and you get along well with him. You think of him as a brother, and you trust him completely.
But one day, he drops a bombshell on you: he confesses that he’s in love with you, and he wants you to leave your boyfriend for him. He says he’s been hiding his feelings for a long time, and he can’t stand to see you with someone else. He begs you to give him a chance, and he promises to make you happy.
What do you do? How do you react? How do you tell your boyfriend? How do you deal with your friend? How do you handle this awkward and painful situation?
This is not a hypothetical scenario. This is what happened to a 24-year-old woman who posted her story on Reddit, seeking advice from strangers. She said that her friend, who she had known for six years, confessed his love to her while they were hanging out at his place. She said she was shocked and speechless, and she didn’t know how to respond. She said she felt sorry for him, but she also felt angry and betrayed. She said she loved her boyfriend, who she had been dating for two years, and she had no feelings for her friend. She said she wanted to stay with her boyfriend, and she wanted to end her friendship with her friend.
She said she didn’t tell her boyfriend right away, because she was afraid of how he would react. She said she hoped that her friend would leave her alone, and that the whole thing would blow over. But she was wrong. Her friend contacted her boyfriend, and told him everything. He said he was sorry, but he had to tell him the truth. He said he loved her, and he wanted her to be happy. He said he hoped that they could still be friends.
Her boyfriend was furious. He confronted her, and accused her of cheating on him. He said he felt betrayed by both of them, and he didn’t know who to trust. He said he loved her, but he didn’t know if he could forgive her. He said he needed some time and space to think.
She was devastated. She said she didn’t cheat on him, and she didn’t do anything wrong. She said she loved him, and she wanted to be with him. She said she was sorry for not telling him sooner, and she wanted to work things out with him. She said she hated her friend, and she wanted to cut him off. She said she didn’t know what to do, and she needed some help.
She posted her story on two different subreddits, r/relationships and r/AmItheEx, hoping to get some advice and support from the online community. She received hundreds of comments, ranging from sympathetic to judgmental, from helpful to hurtful, from constructive to destructive. Some people praised her for being honest and loyal, and encouraged her to communicate with her boyfriend and try to salvage their relationship. Some people blamed her for being naive and selfish, and advised her to break up with her boyfriend and leave him alone. Some people offered her practical tips and resources, such as couples counseling and therapy. Some people insulted her and called her names, such as liar, cheater, and homewrecker.
She said she appreciated the feedback, and she tried to take the positive and useful comments into consideration. She said she was still in love with her boyfriend, and she hoped that they could work things out. She said she was done with her friend, and she blocked him on all social media platforms. She said she was still confused and hurt, and she needed some time to heal.
So, how do you handle a love triangle with your BFF and your BF? There is no easy answer to this question, and every situation is different. But here are some general guidelines that might help you navigate this tricky and delicate situation:
– Be honest. If your friend confesses his love to you, don’t lie or avoid the issue. Tell him how you feel, and make it clear that you’re not interested in him romantically. Don’t give him false hope or mixed signals. Don’t lead him on or string him along. Don’t try to spare his feelings or protect his ego. Be firm and direct, and let him know where you stand.
– Be respectful. If your friend confesses his love to you, don’t mock or ridicule him. Don’t laugh or make fun of him. Don’t insult or humiliate him. Don’t judge or criticize him. Don’t be mean or cruel. Be kind and compassionate, and acknowledge his feelings. He might be hurting and vulnerable, and he might need some support and understanding. Be gentle and tactful, and let him down easy.
– Be loyal. If your friend confesses his love to you, don’t cheat on your boyfriend. Don’t kiss or cuddle with your friend. Don’t flirt or tease him. Don’t send him suggestive or inappropriate messages. Don’t cross any boundaries or break any rules. Don’t betray your boyfriend’s trust or hurt his feelings. Be faithful and committed, and honor your relationship.
– Be transparent. If your friend confesses his love to you, don’t hide it from your boyfriend. Don’t lie or keep secrets. Don’t delete or cover up any evidence. Don’t make excuses or rationalize. Don’t wait or delay. Tell your boyfriend as soon as possible, and tell him the truth. Be open and honest, and share everything with him. He deserves to know what’s going on, and he might appreciate your honesty and integrity.
– Be supportive. If your friend confesses his love to you, don’t ignore or abandon him. Don’t ghost or block him. Don’t cut him off or shut him out. Don’t end or ruin your friendship. Be there for him, and help him cope. He might be sad and lonely, and he might need some friendship and comfort. Be a good friend, and offer him some advice and encouragement.
– Be realistic. If your friend confesses his love to you, don’t expect him to get over it quickly. Don’t assume that he’ll move on or find someone else. Don’t think that he’ll forget or forgive. Don’t hope that he’ll change or grow. Be prepared for the possibility that he might still have feelings for you, and that he might still try to pursue you. Be aware of the potential consequences and complications, and be ready to deal with them.
– Be flexible. If your friend confesses his love to you, don’t force him to stay or go. Don’t pressure him to do or say anything. Don’t make him choose or decide. Don’t impose your will or opinion on him. Let him do what he thinks is best for him, and respect his choice. He might want to stay friends with you, or he might want to distance himself from you. He might want to talk to you, or he might want to avoid you. He might want to apologize to you, or he might want to confront you. Be adaptable and accommodating, and let him take the lead.
– Be patient. If your friend confesses his love to you, don’t rush or push him. Don’t demand or expect anything. Don’t set or limit any time frame. Don’t hurry or speed up the process. Let him take his time, and let him heal at his own pace. He might need some time and space to sort out his feelings, and to get over his crush. Be understanding and supportive, and give him some room to breathe.
– Be positive. If your friend confesses his love to you, don’t dwell or obsess over it. Don’t regret or blame yourself. Don’t feel guilty or ashamed. Don’t worry or stress about it. Don’t let it ruin or affect your relationship. Be optimistic and hopeful, and focus on the bright side. It might be a temporary setback, but it might also be an opportunity to strengthen your bond with your boyfriend, and to grow as a person. Be confident and happy, and look forward to the future.
A love triangle with your BFF and your BF can be a nightmare, but it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. You can handle it with grace and dignity, and you can come out of it stronger and wiser. You can keep your relationship with your boyfriend, and you can salvage your friendship with your friend. You can have the best of both worlds, and you can have it all.
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